Best international dating party organizer in Japan

Hi there, it’s Chris again with some more dating tips. Now that Halloween is out of the way, Christmas is in the air. But Japan’s Christmas is definitely not the Christmas you may be used to if you are from the West. No, Christmas in Japan is more about shopping and eating fried chicken (seriously) than exchanging presents and being with your family. In fact, it isn’t even a holiday here. That said, it is a big day for dating couples, so if you have a special someone that you want to take out on a date around the big day, better make a reservation well in advance.

Anyway, here is another big and important tip for trying to date a Japanese woman. As much as you want to tell a Japanese girl your whole life story the first time you meet her, you should probably ease up on self-praise early on. Yes, you make a lot of money, and your car’s engine has more cylinders than the pack of high class cigarettes you smoke, but with any women, and with Japanese women especially, women don’t want a guy who comes off as overly proud or too cocky. Oh, sure you will hear a lot of “sugoi!”s and plenty of “heeeee”s, but a lot of that has to do with Japanese patience, and less to do with how interested a girl is in you.

The fact of the matter is that Japanese women love to talk about themselves! Any woman you meet will probably have some kind of ability or hobby that they want to talk about. But the trick with a lot of Japanese women is that they likely won’t want to just start talking about themselves. It’s up to you to show interest in them and ask questions about them and what they like. Listen attentively and show an active interest and you might just make a good impression on her. And hey, you might just found out how interesting (or boring) she really is.

Hello everyone, this is Chris here with another dating tip! Recently I have been doing lots of running in Japan. I don’t think anyone has picked up the long distance running fad quite like the Japanese have, and there are plenty of running groups in Japan if you are interested in that kind of thing. If nothing else, it is a good way to meet people of all ages. Here’s a good site if you are interested in running around the Tokyo area: http://running-club.meetup.com/cities/jp/tokyo/. Who knows, you might just meet the girl of your dreams…you’ll just have to catch her.
So anyway, you are probably wondering what this week’s tip is. It’s really simple. It all has to do with image. Image is everything here! Now a lot of people say that all you have to do to get a Japanese girl is to be a foreigner. In fact, that was the rumor going around before I got to Japan. And sadly…for some guys this is true. One of my friends is a six foot three, blond haired blue-eyed fellow who looks like Thor’s skinny cousin. But while some guys can use their foreigner appeal, not all guys fit a Japanese girl’s image of “foreigner”. And say you are a person who fits this image – is that really how you win this game? If you have got it, use it…but maybe you want a woman with more…discriminating tastes. But what do I know.
All I am saying is to not rely on your image as a foreigner. I say put some effort into it! In particular, put some effort into the clothes and accessories you wear. Look around at the Japanese people you see on the street. Guys here put a lot of effort into how they dress. I am not saying that you need to wear the ridiculous outfits that Japanese guys can sometimes wear, but dress cleanly, dress neatly and wear something that at least looks like you care about your appearance. Don’t think that the fact that you are not Japanese is going to immediately win you a lasting relationship, because it won’t. However, if you buy some nice clothes, sport a nice watch and keep yourself looking nice, you might just catch the eye of a girl with some real taste.

Hello there everyone, Chris again. Hope you guys got out for Halloween. Even though the concept of trick or treating hasn’t really taken hold in Japan, young people love a reason to dress up as something ridiculous, elaborate, sexy…or sometimes all of the above.

Anyway, my tip for the day is specifically aimed at those people who speak Japanese perhaps because they studied at university or because they have been in Japan for a long time. Perhaps you studied lots of kanji, and you might know a thing about Japanese history. Heck, there is a good chance you know lots of things that Japanese people don’t. Are these things useful to know? Sure they are! They will help you with your life in countless ways.

So can these things help you with your love life? Of course they can! Being able to communicate in Japanese will obviously be useful of the girl you are interested in doesn’t speak English. And you might get a “sugoi!!” out of her when you write that 20-stroke kanji you have been working on. But don’t overdo it. You may think you are impressing her with all of the Japanese idioms and esoteric knowledge you possess, but that can get old. And as for your knowledge of history…unless she is a history buff, reel it in a little.

Think of it this way. No matter how good a person is at English, how long would you be impressed if you kept showing off your spelling? What’s more, as an American, I know that if someone kept telling me about the Civil War like I was supposed to be impressed, it would just be incredibly annoying.

I think a friend of mine put it best. She told me that while it’s interesting if a guy knows lot of Japanese, after a while it seems like they are trying to act superior, which is never attractive. I will add that it’s a little self absorbed as well.

Perhaps the biggest reason that this is a dating no-no is that it makes your relationship all about you. If you want to make a relationship with a Japanese woman work, you have to be interesting in ways other than being able to speak Japanese. But more on that in a later article. Until next time!

Hello everyone, allow me to welcome you to the newest section of Exeo International, “A Surefire Way to Dating Japanese Women”. I’m Chris, an ex-pat born in New York who has spent the last six years in Japan. I am pretty much your average looking, average talking guy. I like to think that I am pretty nice, too. And like any guy, I like going out on dates. Having been here for so long, I have dated both Japanese and foreign women and have had plenty of good (and bad) experiences along the way. As a foreigner, I have also met others, be they foreign men, foreign women, Japanese men and Japanese women with their own opinions on the matter. I like to think that over time I have also amassed a pretty good set of tips to help out anyone who is looking to go out a date, specifically with that wonderful, puzzling, funny, strange, mysterious and sometimes flat-out bonkers thing we call a Japanese woman.

Since this is the very first article, I may as well tell you what this column will be about, and more importantly what it will NOT be about. If your goal is to try and single-handedly fix the population crisis in Japan by sleeping with a new woman every day, I suggest you look somewhere else. If you are trying to “trick” women into sleeping with you, I hope you look elsewhere because, while I hope my advice is useful in helping a person enter a relationship with a Japanese woman, I do worry that I might be helping sleazeballs reproduce. This article is for people who are genuinely looking for a relationship but are not sure of how to go about it. This article is for people who have dated women from other countries and are wondering how Japanese women are different. This article is for anyone, whether new to the country or not, who is looking for long-term companion. I hope that if I can’t help through my advice I can at least be entertaining, because as much as I have had success in dating, it is because I have failed hilariously.

So why even bother trying to date a Japanese woman? There are a lot of reasons not to. It can be a very frustrating experience if you can’t speak Japanese and she can’t speak English. And even if you can speak each other’s language, there can often be cultural barriers that make communication an arduous task. And if you do manage to get into a relationship – even if it’s – a good one, there are still her parents to think about. They might not be as keen on their daughter dating a foreigner as she is.

But I think the reasons to try far outweigh the reasons not to. Some of the sweetest, nicest, prettiest and, well, wildest women I have ever dated have been from Japan. Japan is a country like no other. It is an incredibly rich and experience, but even the lonest lone wolf (such as myself) can get lonely here. No other place in the world will make you pine for companionship like Japan will, and if you can find it, there is really nothing better. I hope I can help you in your search!

Today we are just saying hello, next week we will get into the real meat and potatoes!

Until then,

Chris

Hi there everyone, we’re back again with part two of our look at matchmaking parties.  Look back to last week to see what you SHOULD do to make the most of the experience.

However, there are just as many “don’t”s as there are “do”‘s.  Today we are going to look at some of the don’ts and hopefully prevent you from making a complete ass of yourself.  Basically, the fact that you dressed nice means nothing if you end up puking and wearing your Jack Daniels on top of your suit jacket.

So let’s not waste any time, shall we?

1) Don’t drink too much before the party.

Yes, you are going to be approaching women you’ve never met before and a drink or two might help steady the nerves, but you aren’t doing yourself any favors by showing up drunk.  If you really think that you will charm a girl with your handful of slurred phrases or obnoxious behaviour, you may need to adjust your thinking.  Think of who shows up for these parties.  They are women who are looking for a serious relationship and have put some effort into looking nice and searching for a long term partner.  They want someone who is as serious about getting into a relationship as they are, and whiskey breath doesn’t screen long-term.

2) Go for hotness.

Yes, this is easier said than done.  Dating parties can often attract some beautiful women, and with first impressions being so powerful, it’s easy to get drawn into going after them.  And lord know I don’t want to talk anyone out of dating a hot Japanese girl.  This wouldn’t be much of an article if I did so.  What I am saying is that there are a lot of really nice and interesting girls at these events that aren’t necessarily the next big supermodel, but don’t necessarily look like feet either.  And, well, if you think a girl is the hottest thing in the room, there is a good chance that a large amount of the other guys think so too.  Why not let them duke it out while you try and find a woman who is actually compatible with you?

3) Go all slobbery over one woman.

If you find a girl at a party and you think the two off you have great chemistry, by all means chat her up.  Tell her that you want to meet again and be sure to get her number and email address.  But the last thing you want to do is come off as desperate.  If she isn’t reciprocating you should always keep another girl in mind.  Dating parties are a good way to meet lots of women, so you should up your chances.

The first two rules should be common sense in my opinion, but what often happens is that guys don’t take these parties as seriously as the women do, and coming in drunk or making a beeline to the hot girl are definite tells.  The last one may mean you take these things a little too seriously.  Tequila breath may be a pretty bad chick repellent, but desperation isn’t too far behind.  Look for a girl that interests you, but remember that there is more than one woman there.  So don’t forget to have a good time.

So let’s say you find a girl.  What should you do after the party?   We’ll wrap up this series next article!

Good luck!