Best international dating party organizer in Japan

Hi there everyone, I am back after a short hiatus.  Hope things have been going all right with you all.  Things are finally starting to warm up, meaning that it is time to start thinking about hanami, or watching the cherry blossoms.  Japanese people love to roll out their blue tarps and sit under the sakura drinking beer.  And it’s one of my favorite customs too.  If you are in the Tokyo area, I recommend Shinjuku Gyoen, but if you want to avoid the crowds, you are better off visiting some of the smaller places, like in Naka-Meguro.  A veteran tip is to bring your own toilet paper, because those toilets get mighty crowded and they don’t get restocked.  If you know a cute girl, it makes for a nice date.

So today’s tip is pretty simple.  I know you want to date a Japanese girl, and maybe it’s getting to the point where you want to date anyone who looks your way and cling on to her.  And hey, if she is a good girl, all the power to you.  But there are all sorts of women in this world, and some of them happen to be crazy.

And for a while, it is awesome.  I have always had a weakness for crazy myself, because, well, they are wild in the bedroom.  But after that initial rush of awesome, you will likely feel like getting out…and the crazier a girl is, the trickier it can be.  I mean, to get rid of one, I literally had to flee the country and move to Japan (though it’s only one of many reasons that I am here).

But basically, you need to get rid of the crazies as soon as you can.

There are a few things you want to look out for –

1. Jealousy

If she gets aggressive when you ever mention another girl, you had better start running.

2. Clinginess

If she seems to be texting you all the time and always wondering where you are, it won’t go away.  Time to get out.

3. Lying/Stealing

If you catch her lying about where she’s been or stealing your money…LEAVE.  If you catch her, she will stop for a while, but it won’t go away, you won’t trust her, and you will end up miserable.

4. Public Displays of Aggression

If you find that she is perfectly comfortable yelling at you in public, GET OUT.

5.  Family

This is a complex one.  If a girl comes from a twisted family, these things will manifest in her, and likely manifest in your relationship. On the other hand, if she is inviting you to meet her family on the second date, that is a little odd too, even in Japan.  This is a topic for another article, because it is a very nuanced thing in Japan.

All you have to do is google “Signs that your girlfriend is crazy” and you’ll find a plethora of articles to help you out.

All I have to say is that as soon as you find out that your girlfriend is crazy, you are better off ending it sooner than later, because the deeper in you get, the harder it will be to get out because your feelings will get stronger and she will start getting even battier.

Good luck!

Hi there, I’m back again after a short hiatus.  Hope you all made the most of your Valentine’s Day.  To be honest, even though I receive my fair share of chocolates in Japan, I am not a fan of the whole thing.  The idea of booking a romantic evening/dinner on the same night that everyone else is is something I find both daunting, annoying and unfortunately necessary in most cases.  If you are lucky, one day you will find a girl who is content to do something the week after.  But I digress totally.

In previous articles I have mentioned that you should rely on your “foreign-ness” to attract a woman.  However, I think I should be more clear on the point.  While the fact that you aren’t Japanese should not be your only good point,  you should still use it to your advantage.  It is still something that makes you visibly different from most of your competition, so you shouldn’t neglect using it altogether.

This goes beyond just looking foreign as well.  When you are approaching a girl, you should USE ENGLISH.  Yes, you may know all kinds of cool Japanese, but you know who else knows lots of Japanese?  Almost every other guy in Japan.  Using English may seem like an odd thing to do if you already know Japanese, but it immediately catches a girl’s attention.  Keep in mind that girls who are hit on will almost always be hit on in Japanese, and probably by guys with much better Japanese that you.  But they likely don’t get hit on much in English and it will make you all the more memorable.  She might not speak much English, but you should try and see how much you can get out of her.

Using English will not only help you stick out, but it will also help you weed out girls who are, well, jerks.  So I say try it a few times and see how far it gets you!

Until next time!

Hello everyone, I hope you managed to deal with the snow better than I did.  Granted, back when I lived in North America, I got my fair bit of snow, but to be honest, one of the reasons I love Japan (or at least the Kanto area) is that I don’t have to deal with snow soaking my socks in the winter.  What’s worse is that Tokyo and Yokohama basically lock down in that a slight dusting of snow seems to shut down the trains.  And that’s just the big city – it must be worse for those of you in small towns.   Thankfully on the Saturday when we had the most I happened to have large stocks of bacon, which made for a great day for my spirit, but not for my cardiovascular system.

But this is not what people want to hear about, I am sure.  Today I am going to play that wonderful game that men love to play and that is putting women into various categories.  Actually to keep things simple I will just split them into two.  Specifically I want to talk about “International” Japanese girls and “Made in Japan” Japanese girls.

Do I sound like a close-minded jerk yet?  Maybe I am one, I don’t really know.  All I know is that I much prefer one over the other.  As always when we play this game it’s important to realize that not all girls can be put into a category and this mostly just for fun.

Anyway, let’s start with the “International” girl.  She likely speaks some degree of English, has been abroad her fair share of times and might have even lived overseas for a couple of years.  To put it simply, these are the girls I enjoy dating the most.  They often have a genuine curiosity about the world, and if they can in fact speak decent English, often have interesting opinions and unique perspectives on things.

The girls I have more trouble with are the ones I call “Made in Japan”.  She might speak English, but she has no real interest in the world outside of Japan.  I ultimately get bored of these types.  I personally find them the hardest to read and the hardest to communicate with.  This has nothing to do with their English level, and more to do with the fact that they generally don’t have the assertiveness that Japanese women who live abroad have.

Both types make for great girlfriends, but I guess now that I am older I am more interested in someone I can spar with verbally in either Japanese or English.

Of course, these are categories I have just made up, are barely valid and really don’t mean anything.  But I do feel that if you are going to date a Japanese girl, you are best off going for one who has made the effort to learn about the rest of the world.  But ultimately, the decision is yours.

Hello everyone.  Every time spring seems to peek out from around the corner we seem to get smashed with some of that strange cold weather from out of nowhere.  Hope you guys are staying warmer than I am.

This week we’ll finish up our series on dating parties and then we will finally move on to some other stuff.  With any luck, by now you’ve tried a party or two.  Hopefully you dressed up nicely, been polite, and you have been smart in choosing the women you want to talk to.  And let’s say you’ve actually managed to connect with a girl.

So what now?  I know the notion of clubbing her on the head and then taking her to your man cave is appealing, but unfortunately that approach is a little out of vogue and illegal.  Here are a few tips on how to turn a pleasant meeting into something more.

* Be active, but not pushy

If you want to go out after the event that is great – suggest it to her, but don’t make her do things she doesn’t want to do.  Some women are totally game to go somewhere, but many of them are tired after the event (they often take place at night) or they simply don’t feel comfortable yet.  If you are interested in this girl, let her do what she wants to start and that will up the chances of her wanting to meet with you later on.

This also applies when you are trying to keep in contact with her later.  Send her an email the next day (you did get her e-mail, right?) and tell her it was nice meeting her and that you would like to meet her again.  Yes, I understand that you should “always be closing”, but don’t start making plans for the next day for risk of coming off desperate.  Also, don’t bombard her if she isn’t quick to reply.  Give her about a week to respond to your email.  And DON’T confront a girl if she doesn’t reply quickly.

Ultimately, you have to accept dating parties for what they are – they are a way for single people to reach out to each other and make a connection.  This doesn’t make a person automatically comfortable with you, nor does it make them ready to commit suicide in your name.  It does however give you a starting point for the former (and if you are really smooth, the latter), and that is all on you – with a little help from me of course.

Until next time.

Hello there, this is Chris as always.  I was off on business last week, but I am sure you all managed without me.  Today we will go over some tips on something that is pretty relevant to the site you are on, and that is matchmaking parties. Most people back home sneer at the idea of going to a matchmaking parties, but in Japan where most people spend their free time swamped in desk work or are not about the “bar scene”, they are a useful and accepted way of meeting someone.  Having been to a few myself, I can say that it takes a little while to get comfortable, but once you are in they are a lot of fun.  They can take a lot of forms – one party may be a highly structured “speed dating” format, or they can be a more loose “party” where you can mingle with whoever you like.  There are also “gokon” events where a roughly even amount of men and women head to an izakaya (Japanese-style bar) or restaurant and chat in an informal setting.  Exeo International hosts a variety of parties, so check around the site and sign up for one.

So now that you’ve signed up, here are a few do’s for any matchmaking party you attend.

1)           Be nice!

Being polite is important (and in my opinion, pretty obvious) behavior if you want to impress a girl, especially in Japan.  This means being polite not only to a woman that catches your eye, but to people around her – men and women included.  The woman you’re talking to doesn’t have tunnel-vision.  She will judge you on how you behave with everyone.

2)          Relax!

Just be yourself. If you put pressure on yourself to find your future bride, or even get a phone number you will not only project desperation (which no woman finds attractive), you won’t enjoy yourself.  Just have a good time and don’t be too uptight.

3)           Appeal to the senses

As I was writing this article I first wrote this point as “Look nice!”  That alone is very important.  Actually, the first party I went to I took it too far and looked like I was headed to a wedding, which was pretty embarrassing (which threw me off my game so badly that I didn’t get any numbers).  You should dress nicely, wear a nice shirt with a collar and look like you live in a place with a roof.  That said, there is no sense of style that can save a guy who smells like a foot.

So look nice (dress up) smell nice (wear some deodorant!), sound nice (be polite), feel nice (shave and use a little hand lotion) and taste nice (brush your teeth!)

It’s simple advice, but you will improve your chances several times over.

Again, I guarantee nothing, but these are some basic pieces of advice I have picked up over the years and I hope you can put them to good use.

Next week we will talk about what NOT to do during a party.

Until next time!