Best international dating party organizer in Japan

We Japanese girls want to be the apple of your eye, and that means the only apple of your eye. Western girls of course do not want to be cheated on, same with us… but that goes without saying. Japanese girls however will get very upset over much much smaller things. I’ll give you two examples.

Western men will often notice and remark about especially beautiful women, even to their girlfriend. I noticed this especially with British men. They do it in a slightly comedic, tongue in cheek way, maybe saying ‘hello’ when they see a very beautiful or sexy women in the street. Of course that woman cannot hear… the only person that hears is their girlfriend. They’ll generally get a playful slap on the arm or something in response, but overall the girlfriend is unlikely to be particularly upset by his words. Do not, however, make this mistake with a Japanese girl. If you have not been together for long, this is of potentially relationship ending seriousness. You may be joking, and maybe a western woman would get your joke, but a Japanese woman will not, rather, she is likely to be extremely angered by it, and you can expect her to remain angry for quite some time afterwards. Not understanding why she is angry or telling her she’s over-reacting will only make it worse. Even if you don’t really feel like you did anything wrong, the best thing you can do is apologize as sincerely as you can.

Another difference between western and Japanese culture that you have to be aware of is being alone with girls. Japan is not as extreme as the middle-east, where you are not allowed to be alone with a female, but you have to be very careful here. Being alone with a Japanese girl will always look like a date. You may just be friends with a girl, and she might feel the same way about you, but meeting her (just the two of you), for a coffee, or lunch, or even worse, drinks, will not go down at all well with your girlfriend. It may be inconvenient, or even undesirable, but always try to meet with a girl in a group, not one on one. Connected to this, if you are not in a relationship (or even if you are), you may only be interested in a Japanese girl as a friend, but if you ask her for a coffee or something (or indeed arrange any kind of meeting between the two of you), she will always consider it to be a romantic advance. Indeed, it is difficult to intentionally strengthen your friendship with a Japanese girl, as you have to be so careful to avoid giving her the wrong idea. These issues exist in western culture, but are much more emphasized here in Japan. Be careful!

We’ve already discussed how to approach a women. But that was more about space.

This time, I want to give you advice as how to talk to Japanese women.

Japanese women are probably more feminine than foreign women. By that I mean is that Japanese women know little about sports and wear dresses most of the time. We like to look cute and feminine and be taken care of by men more than foreign women.

In that sense, you need to be able to talk about what women are interested in. Before going out to meet women, you should prepare topics to talk about that women would be interested in. Something regarding Japanese TV/pop culture would be a great start. Something light and fun is always best. And comments about our clothes are always welcome!

Your biggest worry should be about insulting Japan/Japanese culture/Japanese people. Comments about why no one speaks English, or why things are different than your country, etc. will only blow up in your face. We like that you are different than us, but we don’t want to hear about why your ways are better than ours.

Foreign men can come across a bit pushy as well. We like to be approached, but being to forceful will just make us lose interest or run away! We like it when you are straight about your emotions! That is a point we really like! But it is important that you do not talk only about yourself. If you show interest in our lives, we will definitely fall for you!

And of course there is the first impression.

Women notice all the little things. How well your hair is set, any wrinkles in your clothes, dirty shoes, bad breath etc.

Your first impression is like a job interview, you need your outer appearance to be perfect to get your foot in the door.

Also, you need to be relaxed and decisive. Japanese men are very indecisive, and we don’t like that. If we decide to go to somewhere or get food, we like men who have their minds made up about what they want/like.

So, make sure you are prepared for the next time you decide to meet some Japanese women and have confidence!

You might here Japanese women say things like:

“I don’t have a type, I just like the kind of guys that I fall for.”
“I’ll might just fall for a guy that pats me on the head.”
“Guys who play sports are so cool!”
“Guys that are good at their jobs drive me wild.”
“It doesn’t matter how nerdy a guy is, I look past that to the person inside to decide whether I like them or not.”

Reading this you might think that women care more about what’s inside a person than what’s outside. But you’d be WRONG!

The statements above only apply to good-looking men.

This might upset you, but if you think about it, men also place a lot of weight on how a woman looks.

Japanese girls especially place high value on looks. We like handsome, well-dressed men. What does that mean for regular guys? You need to work on your image.

There are simple measures that you can take to make yourself look attractive in the eyes of us Japanese.

If you are overweight, loose some pounds. If you are a smoker with yellow teeth, go to the dentist to get them whitened. If your hair is a mess, get a new haircut.

Fashion is also very important. A hoodie and baggy jeans won’t really get you anywhere with Japanese women. Especially now, skinny guys are popular. Skinnier jeans, nice shirts etc.

You don’t have to become Brad Pitt or Denzel Washington. All you have to do is standout from the crowd. Be just a little bit more handsome/fashionable than the other foreign guys around you and it will make a big difference.

How do you first get to know a girl? Maybe you meet her at a club and dance or you meet her at work. Perhaps, you get introduced or you run into someone at a store.

These are great ways to meet Japanese women. But what to do next? Obviously if you’re interested in getting to know her, you start up a converstation.

First conversations/dates are always a little nerve-wracking. I have a simple remedy for this though. Have you ever seen the movie, “The 40 Year Old Virgin”? There is some excellent advice in there about asking questions.

As I mentioned before, we Japanese women are selfish. We want to talk about ourselves. So, ask us simple questions. And when we answer, try to expand on our answer with some more questions.

For example:
“Where are you from?”
“I’m from Ueno.”
“Really, have you always lived in Ueno?”…

Or,
“What do you like to do on the weekends?”
“I like to go shopping.”
“Where do you go shopping?”/ “What do you like to shop for?”

Just try to get us to expand upon what we are already saying.

That doesn’t mean we don’t want you to talk about yourself. A guy that never talks about himself isn’t trustworthy. But make us a priority.

Another important part about starting up a relationship with a Japanese women is getting her trust. That is very important for us. Even after we have started dating, we still feel a bit uneasy for a while.

How can you gain our trust? Contact us often. Small talk via e-mail or a phone call every now and then is great! The more we see you, the more relaxed we’ll feel around you and the more likely we’ll fall for you!

That being said, don’t overdo it! A mail or two a day is enough. We are like a flower, no water and we die, too much water and we drown.

Another way to look at it is like this. You are a salesman. When you first come to sell your goods (present yourself to a girl) we have never met you before. It is hard for us to trust you and we are likely to refuse at first. But when you stay in contact with your client and they get to know you, your client will be more likely to purchase goods from you (go out on a date/become comfortable with you.)

Once we feel we can trust you, it will be a much smoother path towards love.

If you follow my advice, I’m sure you’ll be finding a special girl in no time! Good luck and see you again!（*^_^*）

Why do foreign men like Japanese women? Is it because we are pretty? Is it because we are kind? Is it because we are small? Maybe it is because we are different than other countries men.

So, why do you think we like foreign men? It is because you are different than Japanese men! We grow up with Japanese men. Our fathers are Japanese. Our brothers are Japanese. Japanese men are not gentlemen. They do not hold door for us or try to keep us warm in cold weather. They also don’t hold our hands in public or compliment us much.

But foreign men are different than Japanese! We want you to hold our hands in public. And if we are making dinner or cleaning, we want you to help without being asked.

Maybe the biggest thing we want you to do is say “好き”(suki) to us. Not everyday but many times we want you to tell us. Or if you could compliment us, we will fall for you. Please tell us we are pretty or beautiful!

I also have a warning for you. Don’t become too Japanese. Speak English/French/Spanish etc. as much as possible. We want to learn foreign language. Also, if we speak in your language always, you are at an advantage, so it is better for you.

We want you to understand some Japanese. And if you get good at Japanese or if we see that you are studying, we will be so very happy. BUT, don’t get too good. If you start to sound like a Japanese, and behave like a Japanese we will lose interest.

Basically, my advice for you is to get a hint of Japanese in you but not too much.

If you can do this, I am sure you will have no trouble finding a Japanese girlfriend and staying with her for a long time.

See you next time （*^_^*）